


strawberries and cigarettes

by gothsn



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, misana, the world needs more misana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24875659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothsn/pseuds/gothsn
Summary: running away just hours before the sun rises, just a few minutes before sana gets a year older, and seconds away before mina realizes that she’s indeed in love with the person that’s sitting right beside her.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	strawberries and cigarettes

the clock strikes the first a.m., but the night remains young as the adrenaline in their blood rose while sana pedaled faster on her bike with mina who kept a tight embrace around her waist.

reaching a distance away from mina’s home, the younger girl got bolder and slowly let go of sana, raising her hands up as the cold wind blew on their faces. looking up, she admired the stars and pretended to reach them.

“hey,” mina said, just above a whisper. placing her chin on top of sana’s shoulder.

“i caught a star for you, make a wish.” raising her hand in front of her best friend’s lips as she waited for her to do so.

“done!” 

mina opened her hand as if freeing the star from her palm and giving it back up to the universe. if only youth could last longer.

“happy birthday, satang,” mina chuckled, she couldn’t fathom why the other hated being called that, it’s her name anyways.

sana scrunched her face at this, showing her distaste for her own name, but nonetheless accepted the small box from mina’s hand.

“another watch?” sana raised the object in her hand, it was a cheap plastic watch- even in mina’s favorite color.

“yeah, i wasted my remaining tokens getting that from the stupid claw machine so you should be grateful.”

“i am. but you know i always break these things. and you keep giving me one each year.” sana said as she secured the watch on her wrist.

“that’s the point, it makes it easier for me to think of a gift for me to give you.”

a remark that made the both of them giggle, as they lay on the roof of a building, under the night sky, just a few more hours before they get in trouble.

“it sounds weird to be thirteen. it feels like a whole responsibility to be a teenager.” sana exasperatedly said.

“you know what’s weirder?” 

“hm?” sana turned to face the other, resting her head on her hand.

“falling in love.” 

“what about it?”

“it’s weird. i heard it makes you go the extra mile, creating all these crazy efforts for a single person just based off of it. and this makes me not want to feel it.” mina stated in disgust.

“you’re just heartless that’s why.”

“whatever sana, at least i’m not hopeless like you.” mina rolled her eyes.

“at least i know how it is to be in love.” sana grinned.

“eh? you’re in love? with who? for how long? why don’t i know about this?”

she continued to interrogate her best friend, but to her defeat, the other could only offer restless giggles as her answer.

sana can never risk wearing her heart on her sleeve. but maybe it wasn’t much of a risk for mina.

—

“ya! mina, you’re killing the vibe!” sana tirelessly tried to get her best friend up from her bed.

it was the evening of her eighteenth birthday, but the introverted personality of mina was taking over.

the younger girl looked beyond the large window pane from sana’s room. she took note of how much people have piled up around the pool, and swimming with hormonal beings is the last thing that she’d want to do.

“i don’t want to sana, i’d rather rot in here than be near those peasants downstairs.” grumping, the older one finally gave up and plopped down beside her best friend as she frowned.

“stop that. it doesn’t look good on you.”

mina teased, only to earn a bigger frown from the other.

“alright, i’ll swim with you okay? just minus the people. for now, i’ll stay here and i’ll wait okay?” sana smiled at her offer.

turning to face the blonde girl, mina stared intently at her. sana was like some type of rich wine, the older she got, the finer she is.

mina reached out to tuck the stray hair behind sana’s ear, and now it was either the vibrations of the music or probably the beat of her heart that was begging to speak. 

why couldn’t she just admit it to herself?

sana’s smile slowly turned soft, “i was just kidding, i wouldn’t force you to do something that you aren’t comfortable with.”

it was the way that sana treated her with respect. the care that was packed through her kind words.

it was the way that sana spoke, just plainly the way that she did. the energy within it, and the sincerity.

it was the way that sana made her feel all the things that she hated.

“i know but, jihyo’s waiting for you outside. and you should go.” mina answered bitterly, although subtle.

“right.” reality held her down more than gravity did. but they got nothing to lose.

the night went on, mina had lost track of the pace of her heart as she looked at herself in the mirror. wearing an all black bathing suit, she rarely exposed much skin. 

her thoughts were shortly interrupted by a knock on the door, it must be time.

sana walked in, her hair slightly damp. stunning nevertheless. 

“everybody has left.” walking towards her best friend that stood in front of her reflection, she stared at the younger one. a hint of horror in her eyes. she knows exactly why.

the proximity left in between was suffocating, as sana reached out to untie mina’s silk robe that hid everything she ached to unveil.

slowly, the blood rushed up to their faces as sana gently took the robe off from her body, something that she let her do, submissively.

soon, sana touched her bare waist, her fingers were cold, making mina’s breath hitch. staring at each other’s soul quietly, lost in the moment of everything and nothing.

“beautiful.”

pulling her closer, the older girl’s arms now circled mina’s waist. she whispered, “swim with me.” 

—

“cheers!” sana shouted cheerfully along with her friends who had glasses of liquor in their hands.

twenty-two has never looked so good.

mina smiled at the corner, she never really liked drinking but this is how her best friend finds it best to celebrate her birthday.

a night at the club with sweaty bodies grinding on each other wasn’t how mina pictured her evening was supposed to go. but to see sana so happy it was enough for her to willingly endure it.

sana looked so happy with jihyo. and it’s been four years. but the pain inside her chest never seems to get old whenever she sees them together.

selfish wasn’t the right word, nothing appears to describe it best. but whatever it is, mina hated it. because she badly wishes to be her instead. 

she badly wants sana to herself, she badly wants to be the first person to hear about how her day went and all that made it great. she badly wants to be the one to take care of her.

mina badly wants to scream out how much she loves her.

but she can’t, and she won’t.

—

when the heat of the night had subsided, both of the brunettes have found themselves sitting on top of mina’s car trunk, looking down at the city lights below them.

sana took out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket, lifted one up to her lips and lit it.

“and since when did you start smoking?” mina raised her brow,

“ever since i started feeling stressed?” she smirked.

“are you stressed to be with me right now?” 

“maybe.” the celebrant joked, earning another slap on the shoulder.

whatever troubled her,

she can’t say it. and she won’t.

—

“so twenty-six? no longer getting younger are we?” she chuckled, as she put the dish down.

“you don’t need to mention that a lot. i know i’m getting old. and so are you miss myoui.”

this year, surprisingly sana wanted to celebrate her birthday peacefully. it was even a personal request that she had for the other to cook dinner for her at home.

home?

“you must be stressed a lot lately, take care of yourself satang.”

at one point in time, sana grew to love her name. she doesn’t know exactly when, but she feels her heart skipping a beat when she hears it from mina. it’s been too long.

“whatever, mitang.” she playfully stuck her tongue out at the other, “god, you don’t even act like you’re twenty-six.” 

“i’m just saying sana, i don’t want my first love to have such dark circles under her eyes.”

first love?

“what did you say?”

sana put the spoon down on her plate, taken aback from what her ‘best friend’ had just confessed in the middle of her sentence.

“i said i don’t want my first love to look so tired all the time.” oddly enough, along with it was the gummy smile that the only mina had.

the same smile that sana fell for when she was thirteen.

“i-i’m your first love?”

mina nodded.

“you are. you always have been, satang.” sana could only stare at her.

“i’ve loved you since the day you gave me that stupid plastic rose on my twelfth birthday. i was younger and i didn’t really understand human emotions back then but, it was only short until such time that i realized that i was actually madly in love with you.”

everything felt too fast for sana to comprehend. all these years, only for a single day confession- “was?” 

“was. because i stopped. was. because i knew you weren’t meant for me that way. was. because you were already with jihyo. and was. because i’d rather not lose you.”

“but why didn’t you tell me at least after we broke up?” sana fired back,

“because it’s inappropriate for me to shove my feelings towards you just right after your break up. even though you told me you weren’t affected because you’ve fallen out of love from her long ago.”

they fell into an awkward silence, a painful one.

sana reached out to hold mina’s hand on top of the table, caressing it gently. then touching the ring on her finger. clenching her jaw, as tears threatened to escape from her eyes.

“i could’ve been the one to put this on your finger.” sana stated, lifting her gaze back up to mina’s eyes.

it was mina’s turn to be surprised.

but it no longer matters.

“mommy!!”

a loud squeal from a child behind startled the both, pulling their hands back as they tried to calm themselves.

the kid ran into mina’s arms, followed by a figure who had a box of cake in their hands.

“jeong.” sana acknowledged,

“sana-ya, happy birthday.” she smiled bitterly, pushing all the emotions she had left down her stomach.

the dinner flowed smoothly, grateful for the presence of mina’s wife and their child.

both of them now stood in front of the gate.

“i apologize for being such a coward back then.”

“don’t be.” sana bit her lower lip, feeling like her heart was about to give up.

“i’m only telling you now because i want to let you go. metaphorically speaking.” they both lightly chuckled.

it was all that they could do. laugh.

oh what a fool.

their laughter soon died down into tears, and mina quickly embraced the older girl.

“but you will always be my first love, satang.”

—

you know what’s weirder than falling in love? 

forcing yourself to believe that staying silent about it is better.

**Author's Note:**

> THE WORLD NEEDS MORE MISANA


End file.
